why do i feel like they dont care enough ?

i mean they do . but it's like they wont make the extra effort. the stupid effing extra effort.

because theyre needed . meanwhile their friends can go off and they'll stay .they like staying. they like making things harder and more complicated. maybe they dont want to  go out at all . maybe they just want to stay for the money. more money for them. more happiness for them.

i change my schedule for them. why cant it be returned ? cus theyre needed . i guess i'm not needed. it frustrates me when i know it shouldnt. it makes me upset. if they really desired this and that why couldnt they be jus a lil bit selfish and make it happen, instead of leaving another person with hardly anything to work with and forcing them to make all the plans.

i have a headache . i feel like i cant think or look forward to things with anymore.

i feel like we're stuck again . when i thought we jus got out of the ditch. stupid ditch. let go. let off. i'm tired of pushing the wheel and having it not budge.

i dont feel like we're growing .. might as well not. im going anyways .

sorry for the random confusing entry . jus needed to let my thoughts flow out  .