maRy_saiD_what
read my profile
sign my guestbook

Name: mary
Birthday: 6/30/1989
Gender: Female


Interests: love to listen to music , write songs, chill with the besteresttsss !! xD goin online .. bein xangdicted, talkin endlessly and crackin my "behind" off


Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM: i maRez i
MSN: maryxbliss


Member Since: 1/1/2004

SubscriptionsSites I Read

Blogrings
A Life in Lyrics
previous - random - next

Archbishop Molloy High School
previous - random - next

music -- it`s my THERAPY.
previous - random - next

' g0tta lubb maRy '
previous - random - next

Funky Little Island People
previous - random - next

! ¤ Starbucks Frappachino Addicts ¤ !
previous - random - next

~Da 1 n Only Lovable EriCa~
previous - random - next

U Know You're Filipino When U Cry & Tears Come Out
previous - random - next


Posting Calendar

|<< oldest | newest >>|
view all weblog archives

Get Involved!

Suggest a link

Recommend to friend

Create a site

Sunday, December 31, 2006

oh goodness another year gone . another year to come .

i , along with a number people, did not favor the yaer of 2006. of course, like any other year, it had its ups and downs but something was off in 2006. well if you go down , the only way left to go is up right ? hopefully 2007 brings more ups. its a new year, as 2006 gets put back into the closet of our memories. let me attempt to recap this past year.

i cant really remember how 2006 started off. i can usually remember the sept. - june school year but anyways i digress. from january - june i was trying to get by junior year. and it was tough yanoo but i got through it. it was funny how the drama of the school year was reserved for near the end. ohh drama drama i knew it would have come sooner or later. but there were also some good things. i started to reunite with one of my best friends since we had drifted far earlier in the year. btw, im so glad for that ;)

the summer went by like nothing. most days i stayed in to watch my lil sis amparo as always but when i did go out it was a blast. there was sunken meadow, atlantic city, and my 17th birthday in the city =) i got to spend it with most of my besterests.

then senior year came. oh goodness it was horrible starting out . i mean cool because we were seniors but sucky because of COLLEGE APPS . ::shivers:: . im still applying as we speak lol. it has been stressful with school work , it seems like it never ends. and the sad part, is that after senior year , it's gonna be more work . oh yippee lol. but anyways . the time has gone by toooo fast. i really cant believe its practically a new year already. the past months have jus gone by in a whirlwind.

luckily, i have had certain people , friends and family, to stick by me . theres been upsets and times of real joy with the ones i love. im glad ive been blessed with each and every one of them.  relationships have been made and broken . fights have been fought and won. stress has reached an all time high and time has seemed to fly by. but now this year comes to an end. and i just realized i ended this year by making a new friend =p . my hopes for 2007 are that i keep the people ive been close to and get closer to others. i already know there are certain people in my life who are stuck with me ;) cus im not gonna let go so easy.

i can only hope for a better year. but i know that the year will also be what i make of it. my senior year is coming to a close, then it'll be off to a whole other world. there'll be exams and tests and prom and then my last summer before i am 18 and legal haha. but besides that there'll be more responsibilites , more obstacles, and I know I'm ready . so bring it on =p

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY !!!

p.s. im copying the myspace thing so if you have a memory from 2006 that you had with me, share it =)


Friday, December 22, 2006

ah goodness its three days before christmas.

and i dont feel a thing.

whatever happened to the spirit ? i've been too busy to notice . and it feels like any other ordinary day .
its my last adolescent christmas and it doesnt even feel like it . but yea. what can ya do . i don't even care about the presents. i really don't care if i get any material things right now. i just want that feeling again . . and then i think it'd be all good .

well i hope you guys all have a merry christmas =]


Wednesday, December 13, 2006

don't be fooled

Here's a thing I read in Christian Perspectives

Don't Be Fooled by : Anonymous

Dno't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear.
For I wear a thousand masks that I am afraid to take off
And none of them are me.
Pretending is an art that's second nature with me,
But don't be fooled, for God's sake don't be fooled.
I give the impression that I am secure,
That all is sunny and unruffled with me,
Within as well as without,
That confidence is my name and coolness my game;
That the waters are calm and I am in command,
And that I need no one.
But don't believe me, please.

My surface may seem smooth, but my surface is my mask.
'Neath this lies no compliance.
Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, and aloneness.
But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear of being exposed.
That is why I frantically create a mask to hide behind;
A nonchalant, sophisticated facade,
To help me pretend, to shiled me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation.
My only salvation. And I know it.
That is, if it is followed by acceptance, if it is followed by love.
It is the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself,
That I am worth something.

But, I don't tell you this. I don't dare. I am afraid to.
I am afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance and love.
I am afraid you will think less of me, taht you will laugh at me,
And that you will see this and reject me.
So I play my game, my desperate game,
With a facade of assurance without, and a trembling child within.
And so begins the parade of masks, and my life becomes a front.

I idly chatter to you in suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that is really nothing,
And nothing of what is everything,
of what is crying within me;
So when I am going through my routine do not be fooled by what I am saying.
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I am not saying.
What I would like to be able to say,
What for survival I need to say, but I can't say.

I dislike hiding, Honestly!
I dislike the superficial game I am playing, the phony game.
I would really like to be genuine and spontaneous, and me,
But you have got to help me. You ahve got to hold out your hand,
Even when that is the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes that blank stare of breathing death.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you try to understand and because you really care,
My heart begins to grow wings, very small wings, Very feeble wings, but wings.
With you sensitivity and sympathy, and your power of understanding,
You can breathe life into me.
I want you to know that.

I want you to know how important you are to me,
How you can be the creator of the person that is me if you choose to.
Please choose to. You alone can break down the wall
Behind which I tremble, you alone can remove my mask.
You alone can release me from my shadowworld of panic and uncertainty;
From my lonely person.
Do not pass my by.
Please ... do not pass me by.

It will not be easy for you;
A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.
The nearer you approach me, the blinder I strike back.
I fight against the very thing I cry out for. But I am told that
Love is stronger than walls, and in this lies my hope.
Please try to beat down those walls with firms hands,
But with gentle hands for a child is very sensitive.
Who am I, you may wonder? I am someone you know very well.
For I am every man you meet and I am every woman you meet.


Friday, November 24, 2006

why do i feel like they dont care enough ?

i mean they do . but it's like they wont make the extra effort. the stupid effing extra effort.

because theyre needed . meanwhile their friends can go off and they'll stay .they like staying. they like making things harder and more complicated. maybe they dont want to  go out at all . maybe they just want to stay for the money. more money for them. more happiness for them.

i change my schedule for them. why cant it be returned ? cus theyre needed . i guess i'm not needed. it frustrates me when i know it shouldnt. it makes me upset. if they really desired this and that why couldnt they be jus a lil bit selfish and make it happen, instead of leaving another person with hardly anything to work with and forcing them to make all the plans.

i have a headache . i feel like i cant think or look forward to things with anymore.

i feel like we're stuck again . when i thought we jus got out of the ditch. stupid ditch. let go. let off. i'm tired of pushing the wheel and having it not budge.

i dont feel like we're growing .. might as well not. im going anyways .

 

sorry for the random confusing entry . jus needed to let my thoughts flow out  .


Wednesday, November 15, 2006

R.I.P. Ms. Sharkey    11/15/06

an eighth grade and english teacher to so many . she didn't just lecture us about do's and dont's .. she befriended us, made us feel comfortable whenever we walked into class. she was one of the coolest teachers i knew .

we all miss you ms. sharkey.



Next 5 >>